Sunday, October 17, 2010

Disgruntled Worker's Dream (Part 1)

I’d been working at a sales job right out of college, and even though I thought sales wasn’t for me, I went right into another sales job. Sound familiar? Let’s see, I hate this job so let me get another job I hate. The American way really, but while working in sales I thought I could figure out what I truly wanted to do. After some serious soul searching (beer & pot), I knew I wanted to be a stand up comic, so I started being a comedian on the side.

There I was, at another sales job again, but the bright side was that my boss was great. He was older and drank too much. Sometimes it’s good when you have a boss who has problems. They can be so wrapped up in their own shit that they don’t notice what the hell you’re up to. I like that. I’ve always been an autonomous person. I don’t need direction. I don’t want somebody telling me what to do or when to do it. My job is to increase sales. Okay, that’s what I’m going to do. But why would I want someone to spell that shit out for me every day? When your boss has problems they don’t have to time to spell.

This was a big reason I took the job. The boss left you alone. Perfect. But after a few months of working for Drunkie Boss, he was demoted. They put him back in sales. Isn’t it usually the other way around? Usually when you’re a problem, they promote you. I was hoping he’d at least become my boss’ boss. Giving me some protection. Someone on the inside. But poor Drunkie Boss must’ve pissed someone off at the top, because he had to go back to sales. I knew I was going to miss him. He was always late. Only wanted to meet in dark places. And I could bullshit him forever. Great boss.

Now my fellow team mates and I were going to get a new manager, and I was the only one who was upset about this changing of the guards. The

chances of us getting someone as disorganized and unpredictable as an alcoholic were slim at best. Late. Unprofessional. A dream really. Long shot we’d get another one like that.

The major gripe of the other members on my team was that he yelled. My job before this one was working at a place selling some shit where almost all of the sales managers, including mine, did Coke. Working with a drunk guy seemed like a relief. He was tired and late. A Coke head is up and angry. Coke heads throw things.

Drunkie Boss only yelled at me once. I yelled back, and told him to cut the shit. We never had another problem. I should’ve trained the others on how to deal with dysfunctional bosses, but hadn’t thought of that. We met our new boss at a meeting, and as you can imagine, it was bad news.



  1. Drunkie Boss...hahahaaaa... :-D

    Yes indeed work does suck...

    ...following your dreams is definitely tough but it's never about the destination for as your blog proves the journey can be one helluva ride...your stories are always definitely got great stand up material to draw from. (^_^)

  2. I can't wait to hear about your next boss. I hate my boss too (unfortunately, it's me).

  3. Love that your dream boss is a drunk! Hysterical.

  4. you had me at the title. aren't we ALL disgruntled workers...because we have to work?

  5. Aw. Drunk guy must've really pissed somebody off. It happens when you're rarely sober. (I mean, so I hear...)

    Gee. I'm gonna miss him and I didn't even know him.