Monday, June 27, 2011

Cinnamon Twists (Part 1)

When I took a sales job working in pharmaceuticals, the company described the area I’d be working in as being a little “rough.” Needing a job, and not knowing what else to do I  thought, how bad could it be?  Once I started working there, I realized it made the bad areas of the Bronx look like Scarsdale. 
But for the most part it was fine.  I adjusted.  The people were nice enough, and it was all okay, until the one day somebody tried to take my cinnamon twists.  
I was going to see a doctor who didn’t speak to me, so I bought some cinnamon twists hoping that would at least make him look my way.  My dog responds to treats.  Why not doctors?  Besides, who doesn’t like cinnamon twists?  
Can we talk about the genius who invented them for a moment?  Fried dough, with sugar and cinnamon.  Heaven!  This is a dessert that makes sense.  When I see shit like baklava, I wonder what douche bag thought of that.  It looks like a pastry with meat loaf in it.  I’m supposed to eat something that’s laden with fat and calories, and this is what it looks like.  But everyone loves cinnamon twists.  Delicious and beautiful.  What’s not to love?
 I walked into the doctor’s waiting room holding my twists proudly.  The stagnant air in the office  smelled like a mix between urine and sweat; like a sack of un-showered balls.  It was dirty and crowded.  People were sitting in their chairs as though they’d been waiting for years to be seen by the doctor.  I hoped my twists would get me in and out quickly.  
I walked up to the bullet proof glass, trying to get the receptionist’s attention with my box of twists, when this female patient in the waiting room screamed out, “I want those cinnamon twists!”  WTF?  I looked over to see this skinny chick with a ton of attitude defiantly looking at me.  She was acting like the Queen of England.  Did this grub chick think I was going to just hand over my cinnamon twists?  
I gave her all attitude when I said, “Yea, they’re not for you.”  Trust me, I was a total bitch.  It surprised me a little because when it comes to work, I can really put on a show.  I can be nicey, nicey, sweetie, sweetie pie sales rep 99.9% of the time.  I can pretend to care all day long.  But not this time.  The demanding way she screamed out for my twists really pushed me over the edge, and I wasn’t having it.   
Little did I know, there was about to be a chick fight over cinnamon twists, and I was totally out numbered. 



  1. The stagnant air in the office smelled like a mix between urine and sweat; like a sack of un-showered balls..(((:-D))) a chick fight over cinnamon twists...

    ...oh wow...can't wait to see what goes down next... ;-)

  2. I saw that you had posted and ran over as fast as I could. Now you've got me hanging off the seat of my chair in tension and terror. That my princess goes into doctor's offices where there is bullet proof glass is just terrifying. Plus, a room full of crack ho's and worse! Yeah, this one is going to be very interesting. Somehow I am sure you keep your cinnamon twists! But I want to all about how you did it!

  3. Hysterical! All over some baked goods! How Larry David of you!

  4. Ha! Love it!
    And thanks now I want a cinnamon twist!


  5. Hysterical! I'm loving this.. Waiting for more!

  6. Hysterical! That is crazy!! I hope you didn't give them up! xo style, she wrote

  7. I always enjoy your posts ..... probably because I can't relate to them in any real way. I'm sure that's another life that I've never experienced. I'm like the Walton's trying to live in NYC. Your writing is expressive and genuine. Great post.

  8. Now where can I find Cinnamon twists in this English backwater so I can understand what you are talking about. It sure looks wonderful though.
    Hmm, hope you gave her a rude sucker punch :D

  9. You now have us on the edge of our seats, wondering what's going to happen... This summer, I am mostly posting at this blog and I invite you to come along for the ride (I'm only about a week and a half behind postings (I'm writing about Malaysia and am in Cambodia

  10. I'm hoping you carry a stun gun! Chicks never fight fair so ya' gotta' be prepared. Love the line about the stagnant office air. Brings up very graphic images :D

  11. I've gotta be drunk to eat baklava. Anyways, to answer your question at my site about checking your keyword searches...the simplest way is to choose the "stats" tab on your Blogger navigation thing. (Don't you love my technical language). Mess around in there and you'll find it. If you sign up, for free, on then you can find more detailed information there.

  12. Work has been so busy and I keep seeing that you have a post up in my email and I can't make time to read and it was killing me!!! But it's 8:01am and no one is in the office yet, so I'm gonna be good to myself and read parts, 1, 2 and 3 since you've posted them all. Yay! Great way to start a Friday.

  13. Oh, hair pulling and all?