Tuesday, December 14, 2010

East Coast Millan (Part 2)

East Coast Millan then proceeded to call me every day. I got a full report on her activities and what was going on. She was coming along fine and getting along with the other dogs. He had 7 puppies that she played with all day. She was still scared of the bigger dogs, but that would come in time. I was so happy. World’s Greatest Worker was walking dogs for him now, and she had seen my dog and thought everything looked good.

But then all of a sudden, the calls became less, and then they stopped. No return phone calls. I called World’s Greatest Worker to see if she could find out what was going on, and nothing. She had been walking dogs, but she hadn’t been to his place. I asked her to go over there to see what was going on. What she found? Disturbing.

East Coast Millan was in love with my dog, no doubt, but he was taking things too far. He had her on a leash attached to his belt, and she followed him everywhere all day. He told World’s Greatest Worker it was for trust. We both thought it seemed fishy. World’s Greatest Worker took my dog for a walk with East Coast Millan, and she was seemingly cured. No barking. Nothing. But he said he needed to keep working with her, and then went back to his place and told her he was going to take a nap with my dog.

I’d never seen Cesar Millan sleep with any of the dogs on his show. East Coast Millan finally called me back and left a message saying things were going well, but it’d take a little longer. But I still had this nagging voice inside me saying, “What the hell is this guy doing with my dog?” Why did he need her for a few more days?

Crazy busy with work, it actually helped that he had my dog, but I wanted her back sooner than later. World’s Greatest Worker went by his place. He wasn’t there and neither was my dog. When she inquired where the barkiest dog in Manhattan was, they told her that East Coast Millan had taken her to his house upstate! Dognapping? I furiously started calling. And calling. And calling. I left message after message, but when I came back from my meeting there was still no answer.

I called my GBF and my GBF’s GBF (My Gay Best Friend’s Gay Best Friend) and told them I needed their help. We were going to steal back my dog. Luckily, World’s Greatest Worker was on the inside. She got the address up in Westchester of where East Coast Millan was staying and GBF and GBF’s GBF and I rented a car and took a ride. We figured we’d have to case the joint, and then get my dog. We all wore black, but since we live in NY, that’s all we really own. We went once it was dark.

My GBF thought we should just go up there and tell him that we were taking my dog. But my GBF’s GBF didn't agree. He thought this place up in Westchester might have tons of dogs. We might have to call the cops, animal control, who

knew what we were getting ourselves into? GBF’s GBF thought I should stay in the car, while they knocked on the door, pretending to be lost and then storm the place. I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted my dog back and couldn’t believe the steps I had taken to try to get a quiet dog. I cursed myself. I cursed East Coast Millan. This never would’ve happened with Cesar!



  1. Funniest thing I've heard today "We all wore black, but since we live in NY, that’s all we really own."...lol! Hilarious!

    Wow, how scary. I can't imagine what my daughter and I would do if a Cesar Millan doppelganger were to kidnap our little Chorizo.

    I'm on pins & needles over here wondering what happens...how does it all turn out. Yikes!

  2. I can't wait to see how this goes down.

    Is it wrong that I was imagining this as a sitcom with a laugh track?

  3. This sounds like the plot to 101 Dalmatians before it was Dalmatians’ when it was just “101 dogs” .

    I hope East Coast Millan is not looking for a Sausage Dog coat…..

  4. Hehe... I'm loving where this is going. As a owned human, my four keep the stories coming. I live in Indiana and we've been reallllly cold all week. Brrrr. Today is a heat wave. It's 12 degree's. Hugs. Tammy

  5. I'm so attached to my dogs that I think I'd fly off the deep end (whatever that means) if one of them was dognapped.

  6. EEP! A CREEP! You'd better get the conclusion out ASAP, because I'll be sitting here glued to the computer waiting for it. With two kids needing to be fed and watered, well, I'm counting on you to get the next part out soon, for my kids' well being.

  7. I am on the edge of my seat here! Did you get the dog? Was the dog there? Did you ninja kick East Coast Millan when you saw him? I need to know! Sneaky, sneaky....you def have a new follower, I have to see how this plays out. :)

  8. I am actually relieved that I have two big snarly ugly dogs (not really ugly), with bad attitudes toward strange men. And this dude sounds strange as they come to me. You have me on the edge of my seat. If you need help, let me know. Harry and Honey and I will take a road trip to get your baby back!

  9. Wow! Hurry and finish this. I want to see how it ends. I had to go find the first post to know what was going on.
    I sooooo miss having a GBF. *sigh* I live in the middle of Montana, not many of them floating around out there.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I plan on following you. I have to see how this end up!

  10. Ohhh s@#t a dog-napping???!! Yeah East Coast Millan is about to see who the real pack leader is...get that bamma!!!

  11. Oh, no! What happens....

    Thanks for the follow, will follow you - you snazzy NYC lady!

  12. Oh, God! So, you and GBF and his GBF are all dressed in black and cruising Westchester looking for East Coast Milan and your poor, no-longer-barking dog?

    Gee. I never thought I'd get to say that in a sentence! Lucky for me, I often wait till you've posted TWICE (it's like DV-R'ing my fav show), so now I can scroll up and see how it works out.


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