Thursday, August 19, 2010

In The Weeds (Part 3)

I tried really hard to be a better waitress thereby giving Crazy Curly less ammunition. I ran around like a nut. I had the menu memorized, and I worked the computer fast. I had Panty Peeler lay off on being so sweet to me in front of her. The kitchen staff loved me, so whenever I screwed anything up, all I had to do was go back into the kitchen and tell them the mix up, and they fixed it no problem. The more love I got from everyone around me, the less love Crazy Curly had to

give. Suddenly, I was the enemy instead of the friend. We were besties no more.

Then one day she just lost it. We were understaffed, and it was raining out. Never a good combination. We had a big outdoor seating area in the restaurant, so whenever it rained we were doubly slammed. She came out to the center of all the tables and just started yelling at me. Panty Peeler saw what was happening, and he walked over and got involved. I guess since he had history with her he thought it was his place. They had this huge fight, and he quit. He walked right out which basically screwed all of us who were still working. She barked and screamed at us for four hours straight, and the next day I found out my parents’ brothers’ neighbor had broken off the engagement. Crazy Curly was dumped days before her wedding.

The rumor about Crazy Curly getting dumped spread throughout the restaurant like a yeast infection. Quick and nasty. People were loving that this psycho-bitch finally got what was coming to her. But at the same time, they were sad because this meant that Crazy Curly would be at work instead of away on her honeymoon for two weeks. I figured she’d start screaming the moment she arrived, but instead she came into the restaurant deflated. She had obviously been crying for hours. Even though she was a menace, I felt bad for her. Bad curly hair. Crazy. And now a broken engagement. How much could one person take?

It was the end of the summer, and I had a new waitress job somewhere else. I wouldn’t be dealing with Crazy Curly anymore. During my last days at the restaurant, Me and Pothead, listened to her go on and on about how sad she was about her broken engagement. Hot-Ass Sandwich Guy pretended to be sympathetic while she talked about how she felt blind-sided. Panty Peeler came back, and he was even nice to her. Seemingly Straight But Gay feigned interest while she talked about how my parents’ neighbors’ brother was the love of her life. I had started to see Crazy Curly as the person she was when we first met.

On my last day, I worked my shift, and then walked in to say good-bye. I had already told the assistant manager that I was going, and he had advised me to leave without saying anything to Crazy Curly. He didn't think telling her was a good idea. But after listening to her pour her heart out for days, I knew that couldn’t be right. Other White Girl had left the week before, and I didn’t even know if she had noticed. Now it was my turn to leave.

I walked into her office, and said, “Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to let you know that today is my last day. Thanks for hiring me and giving me my experience. I wanted to say good-bye.” She looked at me, and she was genuinely touched. It was as if all those bad days had never happened. She hugged me and wished me luck. Human. I had made the right decision. I mentioned that Other White Girl had also wanted to say good-bye before she left, but that Crazy Curly had already left for the day, so that’s why she never got to. With this piece of information, Crazy Curly didn’t disappoint. Her face went from happiness to something else. And she said, “I’m glad that cunt is gone.” And with that I left.

The next restaurant I went to fired me after a few weeks. They were even less understanding about all the broken glasses, tripping while carrying dinners, and all the falling on customers that went on. I had no future as a waitress, and I knew there was only one other thing I could do. Back to sales. If I was going to put up with bullshit, I might as well make more money. I got another sales job working for a guy who thought he was a dog in another life. I guess

the people who run things are always crazy. But at least he was nice. Nuts, but nice.


  1. Wow, quite the experience. Having crazy people around you sometimes works for you, but not in this case!

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  3. I once had a tray of about 20 filled plastic champagne glasses that I was supposed to pass out in advance of a wedding toast. One glass fell over, and the rest went down like dominos - all over people, the floor and myself. One of my worst moments as a cater waiter. At least you had a panty peeler at the end of the night. I don't feel badly for you at all.

  4. nice! don't we always feel good when underneath all the craziness there's a hint of kindness? there was a heart behind crazy curly's madness.

  5. What? No knife fight or burning Crazy Curly with a hot plate? I see you took the high road which is noble but in the restaurants I've worked in, somebody would have gotten a foot in da azz...nice story (^_^)

  6. Aw. So in the end, CC was still a lunatic. Had to show her true colors, right?

    You definitely did the right thing by leaving...and you know ya did good by taking the time to say buh-bye.

    ...and might just as well make decent green if it's not your passion anyway...